Hurdles

Each day is an adventure and a gift. Sometimes it is a good adventure and sometimes it isn't, but the important thing is to learn from the mistakes you make and move on. However, some days are just out of the ordinary, nothing goes right or the way it is "supposed to" and you need it to just end so you can start over again tomorrow. I call those days hurdles. Your patience is tested, your endurance, your strength. And often, parents find that the smallest (yet most important) people in their lives are the ones creating these hurdles; testing you, to see how strong you really are. Not everyone is perfect. And everyone handles stress differently. I am not good with stress. I often respond in a way I later wish I hadn't. I do try to remember not to repeat the same reactions, but I am unconsciously stubborn, so I often do things I don't really want to do again in spite of myself.
Every once in awhile, a "hurdle" accidentally happens. For example, the first time my little guy got hurt, I was devastated. I never thought my heart would heal, nevermind his minor scrapes. His car seat tipped over and he scratched his fingers. I was holding onto his car seat, so I have no idea how exactly it happened other than it was because I was holding onto it with my bad arm and it gave away on me/him. So yes, it was my fault. I felt like I was the most horrible mother ever to live. Why did I have it with that arm? What was I thinking? Oh it was awful! But I learned from it. And hopefully the next "hurdle" he throws my way won't be physically painful for my little man. I am sure there will be plenty of scrapes and bruises he causes himself!! =0)
The unfortunate part about deing a parent is there is no dress rehearsal; you've got to improvise 24-7. And just because something worked 2 days ago does not mean it will today. You do get to learn your little people, but just when you think you've got it nailed down, they up and change on you. Gotta always be ready for more hurdles!